they tell me i was a head banger when i was a baby,
that they had to put a towel between the crib and the wall because the noise i was making disturbed the neighbors.

sometimes i comfort myself by imagining slamming my head on the ground and having it crack open like an egg -
i don't see my skull inside, just a big empty cavity filled with red: blood & tissue

maybe this is why i don't wear a bike helmet.