a small tragedy
10/15
what does it feel like to kill something
when you slap a mosquito as it is about to stick its six needles in?
or burn a tick off your dog and flush it?
how ‘bout vacuuming up a spider web and maybe charlotte too?
what about to put something out of it’s misery?
like a rat in a glue trap
at 2 AM as you walk by a pile of garbage on the street?
or
putting a beloved pet down when the light of life has left their eyes?
i found the caterpillars
on the parsley
for the 2nd time this summer
and again there were 3
but much smaller this time
so i dug up a parsley plant
and repotted it in a large vase
and moved them indoors…
saving them perhaps from a parasitic invasion?
or from becoming a meal for the bratty blue jay
and
they ate
and ate
and ate
and i got them another parsley plant
because they wouldn’t eat cut parsley
even though i tried,
keeping it fresh in a little jar of water
which one of them fell into
and i thought it was a goner
but i fished it out
and it recovered
and
they ate
and ate
and ate
and grew
and grew
and i was going away for 3 days
so i swapped out the parsley plant again
for a new one
so they would have enough to eat
and i covered the top
because i know
that while they will stay put
while they plump up
to go for larvae to pupae
once they are ready to attach to a branch
and shed their skin for the final time
they will expel a huge amount of droppings
and then wander far and wide
to find their chosen roosting spot
when i got home from my trip,
there was only one chrysalis
and no caterpillars
the vase was covered
where had they gone?
i looked
and
looked
and even searched for the little green casings out in the studio
was the one remaining specimen a cannibal?
googleswallowtail cannibal:
All You Wanted to Know About the Zebra Swallowtail Butterfly
Caterpillar Cannibalism: Monarch butterfly caterpillar eats Monarch egg for lunch
How to Raise Black Swallowtail Caterpillars and Not Go Crazy
and then deep in a forum:
“WOW ! Boy, am I ever envious. We have had basically NO Anise Swallowtails around here this year (our West Coast version of the BST) so I am sort of in that 'poor, pitiful me' state, and it doesn't help that hubby says, "Hey Sherry, where are the ASTs you usually have? I like those."
The recs from the others above are great. Swallowtails are also notorious for cannibalism so chances are you won't be finding 500 butterflies anytime soon... “
no way to know
all that is left to do is to protect this one
until it emerges
and this might mean
waiting through the entire winter
it has attached itself to a parsley stem
which i know will not stay stiff for the next 6 months
so i tie the stem
as delicately as i can
with gold thread
to a stronger stick
and i mist it periodically
so it won’t dry out
then today
i see my cat
intently playing with something
with a posture that indicates: prey
i go to investigate
it is something dark on the floor
i am hoping
not a water bug
and it’s not
it is a tiny
somewhat mauled swallowtail
waving it’s little legs
trying to flap its mangled wings
eager to crawl up on my arm
i try to assess the damage,
i know it can’t survive in the cold
and it will be below 50 by the morning
it isn’t interested in sugar water
and it is clearly struggling
i can’t put it outside
the first of the 3 original swallowtails to emerge in the studio this summer
was perfect
the second,
was born with a top part of one wing missing
i was concerned about it’s viability
so i did a little research
(no the wing won’t grow back)
and came across the information
that if you need to put a butterfly out of its misery
the most humane way
you put it in the freezer for a few hours
but
it eventually flew off
the third emerged while i was away for the day
and it spent at least 8 hours with nothing to eat or drink
but i found it up in a sky light well
moved it outside
tried to feed it
and about 10 hours later
it was gone as well
so here i am with a very damaged butterfly
it has a lot of energy
but even if it had been born completely healthy
and without feline interference
its survival outside in this weather
is questionable
i read about butterfly wing repair
https://www.wikihow.com/Care-for-a-Butterfly-with-a-Broken-Wing
and damaged butterfly care
https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/3jrg85/advice_how_to_help_injured_butterflypics_in/
but none of this seemed feasible
i put it in the freezer
every time
in the past 4 hours
that i have thought about the miracle of life
i have a sinking feeling
as i realize i am killing this tiny creature
i have mice and
(i find this hard to write)
most likely r-a-t s
living right outside my studio
i wonder where they will go
as the temperature drops
will they follow the spiders and the centipedes into the studio
my cats have each caught a mouse since they arrived 2 years ago
but an R-A-T???
but despite this fear
i still don’t want to put out baits & traps
and yet
i have put a mangled swallowtail in my freezer
and it causes me a little gasp of horror
and a little drop in my stomach
each time i think of it
maybe one day i’ll find the abandoned chrysalis
or
the other renegade
what does it feel like to kill something
when you slap a mosquito as it is about to stick its six needles in?
or burn a tick off your dog and flush it?
how ‘bout vacuuming up a spider web and maybe charlotte too?
what about to put something out of it’s misery?
like a rat in a glue trap
at 2 AM as you walk by a pile of garbage on the street?
or
putting a beloved pet down when the light of life has left their eyes?
i found the caterpillars
on the parsley
for the 2nd time this summer
and again there were 3
but much smaller this time
so i dug up a parsley plant
and repotted it in a large vase
and moved them indoors…
saving them perhaps from a parasitic invasion?
or from becoming a meal for the bratty blue jay
and
they ate
and ate
and ate
and i got them another parsley plant
because they wouldn’t eat cut parsley
even though i tried,
keeping it fresh in a little jar of water
which one of them fell into
and i thought it was a goner
but i fished it out
and it recovered
and
they ate
and ate
and ate
and grew
and grew
and i was going away for 3 days
so i swapped out the parsley plant again
for a new one
so they would have enough to eat
and i covered the top
because i know
that while they will stay put
while they plump up
to go for larvae to pupae
once they are ready to attach to a branch
and shed their skin for the final time
they will expel a huge amount of droppings
and then wander far and wide
to find their chosen roosting spot
when i got home from my trip,
there was only one chrysalis
and no caterpillars
the vase was covered
where had they gone?
i looked
and
looked
and even searched for the little green casings out in the studio
was the one remaining specimen a cannibal?
googleswallowtail cannibal:
All You Wanted to Know About the Zebra Swallowtail Butterfly
Caterpillar Cannibalism: Monarch butterfly caterpillar eats Monarch egg for lunch
How to Raise Black Swallowtail Caterpillars and Not Go Crazy
and then deep in a forum:
“WOW ! Boy, am I ever envious. We have had basically NO Anise Swallowtails around here this year (our West Coast version of the BST) so I am sort of in that 'poor, pitiful me' state, and it doesn't help that hubby says, "Hey Sherry, where are the ASTs you usually have? I like those."
The recs from the others above are great. Swallowtails are also notorious for cannibalism so chances are you won't be finding 500 butterflies anytime soon... “
no way to know
all that is left to do is to protect this one
until it emerges
and this might mean
waiting through the entire winter
it has attached itself to a parsley stem
which i know will not stay stiff for the next 6 months
so i tie the stem
as delicately as i can
with gold thread
to a stronger stick
and i mist it periodically
so it won’t dry out
then today
i see my cat
intently playing with something
with a posture that indicates: prey
i go to investigate
it is something dark on the floor
i am hoping
not a water bug
and it’s not
it is a tiny
somewhat mauled swallowtail
waving it’s little legs
trying to flap its mangled wings
eager to crawl up on my arm
i try to assess the damage,
i know it can’t survive in the cold
and it will be below 50 by the morning
it isn’t interested in sugar water
and it is clearly struggling
i can’t put it outside
the first of the 3 original swallowtails to emerge in the studio this summer
was perfect
the second,
was born with a top part of one wing missing
i was concerned about it’s viability
so i did a little research
(no the wing won’t grow back)
and came across the information
that if you need to put a butterfly out of its misery
the most humane way
you put it in the freezer for a few hours
but
it eventually flew off
the third emerged while i was away for the day
and it spent at least 8 hours with nothing to eat or drink
but i found it up in a sky light well
moved it outside
tried to feed it
and about 10 hours later
it was gone as well
so here i am with a very damaged butterfly
it has a lot of energy
but even if it had been born completely healthy
and without feline interference
its survival outside in this weather
is questionable
i read about butterfly wing repair
https://www.wikihow.com/Care-for-a-Butterfly-with-a-Broken-Wing
and damaged butterfly care
https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/3jrg85/advice_how_to_help_injured_butterflypics_in/
but none of this seemed feasible
i put it in the freezer
every time
in the past 4 hours
that i have thought about the miracle of life
i have a sinking feeling
as i realize i am killing this tiny creature
i have mice and
(i find this hard to write)
most likely r-a-t s
living right outside my studio
i wonder where they will go
as the temperature drops
will they follow the spiders and the centipedes into the studio
my cats have each caught a mouse since they arrived 2 years ago
but an R-A-T???
but despite this fear
i still don’t want to put out baits & traps
and yet
i have put a mangled swallowtail in my freezer
and it causes me a little gasp of horror
and a little drop in my stomach
each time i think of it
maybe one day i’ll find the abandoned chrysalis
or
the other renegade
