3/9

like mother
like daughter

sometimes i look in the mirror
or see myself on zoom
and i see
my mother
looking back at me


& yes,
the healing is life long...
and,
as with everything else,
one goes through layers and layers,
transformations & transitions.

one of the things that transforms
is the pain.
in the beginning
the loss seems so unreal
that the only thing that makes it real
is the pain,
so one becomes attached to that.

but after a while,
that doesn’t serve a purpose anymore
and the memories transition,
from sharp jolts of loss
to something more bittersweet

for me,
it is now time
to let go of the attachment to
the pain of her last year,
it is time to make room
for the very real connection
with her
that i am feeling,
it is time to let that grow.