1/18

if you live in ny, you know what this is:
the supreme court building where you go for jury duty.

confession:
i have never served
for a while it was legit;
if you could prove that you were self employed, you were excused.
but then that changed, everyone was eligible including doctors, city officials and yes, artists.
this seemed like an impossible thing for me to do on many levels
the bottom line was, it gave me so much anxiety i was certain that i would literally flip out if made to serve,
so, for years and years, i never opened those envelopes...
i was convinced i would rather go to jail
(i am not sure why it never dawned on me that the things that made me most nuts contemplating jury duty would be a hundred fold worse in the pokey, but it didn't)
and i suppose i was convinced that some mental health professional would vouch for my potential insanity.

well,
i still don't want to go
and it still makes me terribly anxious
but it is no longer life & death
i know i can do it
and therefore i cannot justify avoiding it any longer

so down i went to show my eligibility,
prepared to serve
and convinced i would be called later this week

turns out it's another 4-6 month wait...

well, the bottom line is:
i wouldn't trade a potential 5 days in hell
for this new found sense of sanity


silver lining:
they take your camera away when you enter the building, and it is gorgeous, so of course i asked how i could get permission to shoot... seems like i might be able to swing it when i am actually called.