4/10

well
today i was grateful for the distraction of my job
once i got that i was really going to be able to focus
that i could actually block everything out and concentrate
i stopped feeling the numbness

and i realized that since i don't really care if it doesn't work out in the end
i don't have to get drawn into the insane politics
and hysterical personalities
that were stressing me out


ultimately it is a good mix for me
it combines the 2 skills i actually have:
database design and simple web programming
welcome to the world of .aspx

(yup, you do feel numbness,
like a huge black crater
that gets deeper every second
and threatens to suck you in to its vortex)