9/24

am i here to stay?
i am not sure
i am afraid to feel sure

the more i try to work
the more unmoored i seem to be

i feel
i hope
that things will maybe shift
i have had strange moments of prophetic vision
i have had some intense visitations to the past
i have had the courage to look forward and imagine changes i do not welcome
i have to admit i am still in flux
i am trying so hard to be at peace with that
to accept being less than i want to be

i think a lack of self acceptance
brought unbearable pain yesterday
i feel so much in response to that
i feel so much