4/28

this dress is not as sad
as it looks
it's quite pretty
but i was sad while shopping;
i flashed back on trying to buy a dress
for my father's funeral
my brother's girlfriend was with me
and i couldn't find anything
and i just broke down in the dressing room of Bergdorfs
because of the absurdity of shopping
under such awful circumstances
but my father
after all
was a clothing designer
and i needed to look the part

i toyed with the idea of wearing that dress
i still have it
(of course,
i have everything i've ever touched)
but besides being a bit worn
it's also black
and i want to celebrate my mother