10/3

i always have felt
that getting through the year
after a death
was the hardest;
getting through all those "firsts"
without the person...
birthdays,
holidays
seasons...
yes
this might be hard
but i find myself dreading
that soon
the first year will be over
and a window will close
the window that i can still look through
and say
"last year at this time"
and it will include her
soon
this won't be possible
it's like another end
and it is making me impossibly sad