11/7

these birds are so beautiful,
i just started seeing them this year.

i heard a thump
one flew into my studio window
and lay stunned on the ledge
for quite some time
i didn't know what to do,
if i could save it
i opened the studio door
to get a better look
(maybe
to take a picture)
and it just up and flew away
i felt awful
that i hadn't left it alone
to recuperate longer.

about 3 weeks ago,
in the middle of a crowded midtown sidewalk
in front of a newly constructed office building
clad in windows
i stepped over this poor thing,
clearly
confused by transparency of a new wall.

and today
on a bike ride
i passed by another little finch
sitting in the street
very, very still
until it made a feeble attempt to move
when we approached it
to see if it was alive

from my experience with the first bird,
i felt i could do more harm than good
if i tried to move it out of the road
and that perhaps,
if it was that injured,
a quick death
would be best.

it haunts me