11/19

thankfully the rake is stored
in a way that i can't step on it
(which i most definitely would)
so,
a danger averted
but,
today i walked right into something
that i could have avoided...

most days i practice
about half an hour of yoga
before i meditate
most days i go upside down

i have however
decided that at my age
i will forgo handstands in the middle of the room
for the safety of the wall
i really do not want to risk breaking anything
and there is no way to acquire the balance needed
without falling

i used to have a fear of handstands
but i have basically gotten over that
though i have found
that on some days
i am leaden
and my feet just don't want to go
over my head
i have come to accept that
without self recrimination
which is progress

today i placed my hands on the ground
and i felt askew
i looked down
but i was perfectly aligned with the wall
i made a minor adjustment and did a little hop
(i always do a little hop
before going all the way up)
the little hop was alright
but my arms felt shaky
i questioned my stability
but decided to overcome it
up i went
and my arm gave out
down i came

now if i was doing this in an open space
i would have been alright
but my little spot in the studio
where i have enough clear wall space
is wedged into a corner
where to my left
are 3 concrete steps
leading to the garden
and on those steps
are rows of random thoughts
drying
so there was a lot of twisting and turning
to avoid some serious injury
i basically mashed my toe
(lucky)
except i am going to LA on monday
and am not sure what shoes
i am going to be able
to get on my foot...

c'est la guerre