11/19

last night i tried drawing him
when he got up
and sat right down
on top of the pad

today he is rather subdued
that is the hardest part of this dying business:
hope
it works against you
because
the reality is
there is no hope
and if you succumb to it
because one day he perks up a bit
then you might miss the reality of his condition
you might miss the sign that will tell you it is time...
and that is,
after all
the main responsibility...
to recognize what is really going on
when it happens