protection
1/23
i was going to title this: coming apart at the seams, but that's not really the case.
in a way it's the opposite: i am stitched up tight
but this image is true because it is a picture of something i have had for a very long time,
it's a little protection doll from india
meant to go above the doorway to your house
but mine is on my bike
to protect it from getting stolen
and now it is starting to fall apart
i wrote this today to someone
another artist with whom i have formed an on-line friendship
it kind of says what i mean:
i am fine really
and you?
from what you write
and how you write
it seems as if you are in a beautiful place
physically and spiritually
your transition is full blown
and even during the difficult times it seems as if you have gained the momentum to keep going forward
what a blessing
and what you have written about here,
those polar opposites is the key
or really
the key is the delicate balance
the fine line between them
which is exhilarating and tenuous
because on each side lies almost a quicksand
either one of complacency, so saccharinely sweet
or the other: a bitter and dark fear
does this make sense
it's just a reflection from where i am
which is beginning to go down this same road of redefinition that you seem to have navigated so well.
my biggest problem at this point is that i am engaged in practical matters
and even though i feel as if i am doing a good job with them
i want to scream and let go
and return to my messy little hole
even with its dissatisfactions
where nothing is defined and nothing makes sense but the process
crazy isn't it
i hate this efficient side of myself and yet i know she is necessary for this part of the journey
and i know that if i allow her to take charge i have a better shot of putting everything in place for the next stage
but
oh
oh
oh i want to go back through the looking glass
so i said i was fine
but perhaps not
though i do feel i am doing the right thing.
(and i did see a house last weekend that i can really see myself in
much more of a "home" than i thought i was looking for
but still a little funky
and very sweet & gracious
some build out would have to be done for my studio)
how is your studio?
are you painting
if so
i'm jealous
i was going to title this: coming apart at the seams, but that's not really the case.
in a way it's the opposite: i am stitched up tight
but this image is true because it is a picture of something i have had for a very long time,
it's a little protection doll from india
meant to go above the doorway to your house
but mine is on my bike
to protect it from getting stolen
and now it is starting to fall apart
i wrote this today to someone
another artist with whom i have formed an on-line friendship
it kind of says what i mean:
i am fine really
and you?
from what you write
and how you write
it seems as if you are in a beautiful place
physically and spiritually
your transition is full blown
and even during the difficult times it seems as if you have gained the momentum to keep going forward
what a blessing
and what you have written about here,
those polar opposites is the key
or really
the key is the delicate balance
the fine line between them
which is exhilarating and tenuous
because on each side lies almost a quicksand
either one of complacency, so saccharinely sweet
or the other: a bitter and dark fear
does this make sense
it's just a reflection from where i am
which is beginning to go down this same road of redefinition that you seem to have navigated so well.
my biggest problem at this point is that i am engaged in practical matters
and even though i feel as if i am doing a good job with them
i want to scream and let go
and return to my messy little hole
even with its dissatisfactions
where nothing is defined and nothing makes sense but the process
crazy isn't it
i hate this efficient side of myself and yet i know she is necessary for this part of the journey
and i know that if i allow her to take charge i have a better shot of putting everything in place for the next stage
but
oh
oh
oh i want to go back through the looking glass
so i said i was fine
but perhaps not
though i do feel i am doing the right thing.
(and i did see a house last weekend that i can really see myself in
much more of a "home" than i thought i was looking for
but still a little funky
and very sweet & gracious
some build out would have to be done for my studio)
how is your studio?
are you painting
if so
i'm jealous
