2/1

i am relaying this solely to illlustrate that you can't necessarily believe the voices in your head
that your thoughts are all relative
and so is the truth
there might be lies
but i am not sure there is a truth

(though i believe in "truth", but we digress)

over the past few months,
while i have been so immersed in wordly affairs
and totally convinced that i was unable to create at the same time
i comforted myself by saying i was getting a lot of other stuff done
some of it was taking care of practical concerns;
cleaning, organizing, house hunting, etc
a lot of it was on the computer
a good deal of it had to do with digital imaging
(and posting!!!)

so in order to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear
(would that i could, imagine how beautiful that would be)
i created a lot of projects that i needed to get done surrounding imaging, blogging, the random thoughts game, etc.
i am a master of productive procrastination

well, sure enough, i stopped being able to meet those goals as well
(remember we are talking depression here)
and i started procrastinating to avoid my procrastination...
(don't laugh, this does not feel very good)

anyway,
today i was overjoyed to return to the studio
it was infinitely more fun than tackling the very things i used months before to escape the studio, in fact i felt i was playing hookey by painting

neither of these head states is any truer than the other
it's all a lot of garbage
but i have a feeling that i am not alone in being ruled by silly voices
even when i know they are all relative and nothing is absolute