2/3

i would love to say that returning to the studio i find that i am painting from a place of joy
but that wouldn't be true

i have had this experience before:
resisting working because part of me knows how painful that can be
how a huge flood of pure emotion can just overwhelm me

so i am taking that part of this;
that i have had this experience before
and i am just trying to "be" with it
as part of a process
not an end in itself
or
the only way it will ever be


(sorry my dear,
don't seem to have mastered:
"let's put an end point . to the suffering."
i'm working on it though")*