3/24

i thought that it would be yet another undeniable way to express the depth of the commitment i felt
i thought it would honor the deep meaning of all aspects of this thing that seemed so important
and i thought it would give me something concrete, that it would create a lasting reality

i was wrong on all counts
once again i found nothing i did mattered
once again there was no mutual understanding
once again it was not mine, and i was not me

many things broke last night
and today i understand why