4/18

to be perfectly honest, i wish i felt better than i do
for such a long time, the photographs were real safe for me
they were play
they gave me a place to go when i was stuck in the studio
and for the past couple of months
my random thoughts paintings have felt that way as well
i was trying something new
and that is always fun

but now i am kind of in the same place with both things,
new is getting old
new has to evolve,
points of view have to be formed,
deficiencies mastered,
disciplines created,
well
all the stuff that makes it go to the next place
and it's both at once
so there is no refuge
no place to feel good
plenty of places to feel bad
lots of walls to run into
blah, blah, blah