9/9

so
even though i have about 10 rolls of unscanned film from a year ago,
when a little voice this morning said:
"you could scan that last roll that you just shot"
(well, just got developed, it was mostly shot about a month ago)
i did it,
because i believe you have to listen to those little voices or they stop talking to you
and that if you do listen to them they speak louder and more often
and those are the voices that are most knowledgable about you
and i am sure i have written endlessly on this subject many times
but,
it's all i have right now;
that one little voice
every so often
and i don't want to blow it
even though the thought of scanning one roll
leads to what about the other 10
and the book project
and the random thoughts game
and my gallery
and i become truly overwhelmed
and i feel absolutely like a fraud
because instead of dealing with all this
i am choosing to renovate a 100 year old house
and i don't even have a proper studio

something has to give