11/29

i guess it is clear that journal keeping is a passion of mine
and
as many people reading this know,
in addition to this fotola
and its companion, animus
i keep 5 daily water color journals

and
as many people reading this know
i am in the midst of a rather disorienting move,
having left my home and workspace of 25 years
and my hometown of 50 years,
i am currently living in a temporary space
with 90% of my belongings in storage
while my new home & studio
undergo a massive renovation

the one thing that has remained constant
the one thing that i have been able to rely on
is my daily practice of water color

now i find out
that the books i have been using,
that were custom made for me,
are no longer available
well,
they are
but the question is
when
and
at what price

i am not sure how i am going to handle this;
possibly losing the one thing that has been the tiny thread connecting
what is my current life
to what was my self

i have been sampling different papers,
trying to find one that is within my price range
and hoping when i do
that it is available...

for 10 years,
this practice has been the single most important element of my process
and while i have accepted
(and even embraced)
making many, many difficult changes over the past year
this is not something i can reconcile ending
and to have it threatened
is one of the scariest things
i have encountered along this journey