10/3

i can barely find an image to post anywhere these days
it's been so long since i've been inspired by what i see
inspired enough to make something new
inspired enough to have fun
inspired enough to care,
to try

and i look at other work
on line
and i see so many exciting things happening
and it makes it worse
because it makes me face the fact
that i am just marking time
repeating myself over and over

so,
yes,
i am not dropping the ball
but that's about the long and the short of it

i should be submitting my nyfa grant applications right now
but i am not
because i am too discouraged
and i would feel like a fraud
i would just be adding insult to injury