11/27

today was,
i think,
significant

after months of waiting:
for the plumbing inspection,
to find a heating contractor
to get everything in place,
the floor of my studio finally got poured

i thought i would embed some stones in it,
but i guess that really needs to be done just as the cement gets poured
it sets so fast
and
i just wasn't ready

but what it meant was
that i opened boxes from the studio
and touched things that had been wrapped up for 18 months.

things,
just like the stones,
that have so much meaning to me
things that are inextricably linked to my studio life
and this,
was hard

hard to face all the pieces that are missing
hard to connect back to myself
it made me very anxious
but
i was able to do it
and i separated out things
to use in the next pour

it was a strange day