4/7

i apologize,
i know this picture is a little tough
and maybe not the most wonderful "last" image
but i wanted to post it
maybe to make it more "real"
that she is "gone"
that "she" is not that body
with that mishappen paw
"she" is in my heart and my memories

when i see this image
it helps me understand
that i did the right thing
that it wasn't fair to hold on to her any longer,
wishing that she was the cat
who would curl up next to me every night,
who would join me on the deck in the sun,
who would lie on her back in the middle of the bed
with her feet up in the air

that cat was gone days and days ago
and i had to come to terms with that,
this image helps me to deal with any feelings of guilt or regret.