5/11

everyone keeps asking me if i feel better
now that my responsibilities are over:
i no longer have to take care of my mother,
i have disposed of her apartments and things,
the memorial is done…
they want to know if i am relaxing
the answer is no
one can't change on a dime
the momentum of the past year
is still propelling me forward
i am still caught up in crisis mode
i can't seem to put the breaks on
and i am scared to