1/27

such a sad day
our dear friend *luisa left us...
she had been very sick
and i knew it was close
when i started my meditation this morning
when it had ended,
i received a text that she was gone

at the moment
i am doing a 30 day guided meditation
focused around creativity
and this morning
in the expansive light that is the visualization
i kept seeing her little stencil
flitting around
and it was a magical experience.

there wasn't a question in my mind
that her spirit is still with us
and will stay with those of us
who felt connected to her in life

there have been times
since my mother died
when i have felt disconnected from her
when i have questioned the possibility
of that very essence remaining
when i have thought to myself
"maybe dead
is just dead"
"maybe
there is nothing left of her
here"

having this experience today
was a joyous confirmation for me
that just as i truly believe
that *l's spirit lives on
then clearly
my mother's is here as well

you see,
i have only known luisa from a distance
distance is not a barrier for me
when relating to her
of course
with my mom
it is so different
the loss of proximity
was another layer of her leaving
to deal with
but once that aspect
has been assimilated,
i now know
that the experience of her presence
will be always be here

once you get through the clouds,
you realize
the blue sky
never goes away.

oh
& this little chair...
it was a gift from *L
brought to me by bruce