12/16

well you know you are from out of town
when you find yourself in the middle of times square
at 8:30, the saturday before christmas weekend

since they cleaned it up and turned it into disney world
i rarely set foot in it
(tho i bike through it a lot)
i much preferred the dirty, funky version and it was a MUCH better photo-op.

all of a sudden,
it was
OMG
what planet was i on?

and what was i doing there?
well, it wasn't a good thing
i was skipping out on 2 holiday parties
i had somewhat successfully completed the evening's first event
but i just couldn't face going on
i am developing a real aversion to being around people
especially groups
and it hit me really hard tonight
so somewhare in the 40's
just off the west side highway
i abandoned my husband and the scooter
and started walking

the extent to which i have broken down is starting to scare me
i can no longer mask that my ability to function in the world is become increasingly more impaired