12/16

today i saw a little ray of hope
i have gotten back into a daily
(very minimal)
yoga practice
ending with 10 minutes of meditation
(which i have never done before)
and i have found that it gives me more focus when i am doing the watercolors

i have been working on handstands again
yes, i can throw my legs up there
to get upside down
but i am trying to learn to do it with some control
with core strength
this requires changing the way i naturally breathe:
i used to inhale on the "kick-up"
but
i have been taught that should be done on the exhale

changing that is huge
and it has been frustrating
and difficult
and sometimes i don't get all the way up on the first try
(or the second
or even the third)

but today i got up and stayed
hovering
for a few seconds
in a real unsupported handstand
before touching the wall to balance myself

and all of a sudden
all those "false starts"
(as i was calling my unsuccessful attempts)
became "near misses"
part of the learning process
part of building the strength and trust
necessary for growth & a breakthrough

this is a very nice metaphor
i'll just have to remember to apply it