4/8

without skin
i have lost all covering
i am raw
there is nothing to fall back on
because everything hurts so much
even destructive behaviors
feel alien to me,
they have lost the power to transform
even leaving would not provide relief
and so is useless to contemplate
there is no longer
even the sense
that one day
i will crack from the weight,
and be set free from the real world,
finally able to dwell totally on the other side
not even that feels possible
that way out is gone
only this
only this state
like sisyphus