7/14

the other day
i did something i have been trying to do for years;
i was about to launch into a major panic attack so i focused on my breath.

usually i do this for a few minutes
with no discernable results
and i give up

the fact that it never helps
has not kept me from trying this technique
time after time
year after year
but it's usually a last resort
when i feel like i am about to go (literally) out of my mind

this time was different
and i knew it as soon as i started breathing
and i continued for about an hour
until it seemed safe to stop.

it's amazing to me
that something can just click into place
after training in so many disciplines
after so many years of trying
and then one day
poof
it's yours.