normal...1 - Fotola.com

normal...1

by neene on January 21, 2006

Location: ny

1/21

uh oh
i don't know how long i can keep this up for
i am not used to living like this
i am not used to having my life dictated by outside goals,
i am not used to feeling ok because i have fufilled the little tasks that are necessary to keep all the balls in the air,
i am not used to feeling as if i have completed all that was necessary to do for today
and
i am not used to not needing to do more

is this what is normal, this life that i am living?
where there are a certain things to do, to meet a goal and if you do them you are done until you attempt the next task?

i am not used to this
it's not my way
it makes me nervous
and i feel unfufilled
as if i am fooling myself
and i am
because this is not my life
not the life i want

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Messages:

It soundS liKes yoU sHoulD bE HaPPy
BuT I gueSS that'S noT thE arTisT'stiC waY???
I wisH I coulD KeeP "aLL thE baLLs iN thE aiR"!!

obDaDa - Jan 22, 2006

hmmm,
this sounds me like my late feelings last December ( which took a while to extinguish )
i've decided to "rebel"...and do nothing that was supposed to be 'normal/expected' ...i was just forgetting to 'keep those balls-in-the-air'...
will upload you some of the results..

but i have to confess : even with everything around me collapsing and/or messy...i was feeling so calm&happy ! ( i'm still with the same sensation, haha )
cannot say it is a way to fulfillment, but to a relaxing ( as long as you can stand it ) time

jk_in_response - Jan 22, 2006

uma coisa de cada vez

luisa_in_response - Jan 22, 2006

Bob´s death

iparada - Jan 30, 2006