2/2

yesterday i cam across something that i wrote almost 5 years ago
and it really rang true
but it was in my fotola folder
so i just went to check
to see if i had posted it before,
it turns out i hadn't
because on the day that i wrote it
i posted this instead

it's a realization that i never honored
and it is one that i need now
so much
it's almost as if it was waiting for me

what you are in the present is fine
if you want to be something else
you have to start being that in the present
no matter how uncomfortable it feels
and your ego will tell you that "you are not being true to yourself",
that "this is not the way you do things"
and that is true in the past
and maybe even in the immediate present
but it is not "the truth"
and your ego knows this
and your ego does not want you to change

but if you want something in your life
you must put it there
no matter how uncomfortable it makes you
if you want flow
and you are a structured person
you have to put up with feeling lost
and then
all of a sudden
things start connecting
not in the way you are familiar with
but in a way that is new
and exciting
and makes you want to keep coming back for more

and i think it is interesting that i meant to post this on my brother's birthday (5/15) and today i am referencing back to my birthday (1/15)
i am sure that is not particularly meaningful tio anyone else
but it gives me a feeling of completeness