9/1
last night,
oski took a turn for the worse
i brought the aerobed down to the studio
so i could sleep there with him
and not worry about him trying to go
up and down the stairs
it was getting harder and harder for him to keep his balance;
his front legs were giving out as well as his rear

he was at the bottom of the bed
and i felt him move,
i sat up
and he came up towards me
and kind of collapsed on to me
i knew what he was saying
just like i did
when smudge came up and shook her paw
and blood went flying

this morning
he was a little stronger
so i got him some baby food
after he threw up his entire breakfast,
and he he enjoyed that
but, i knew
it was time to figure out the "when" of it all

it got too much for me
and i lay down for a nap
having slept less than 3 hrs last night.
when i got up
and saw him lying like this
i knew there was no choice
i knew it was time
and that delaying
was prolonging death
not life

and so
a little before 4 this afternoon
we let him go